Hiatus!!

INTERMISSION

For my handful of close family members and friends, who have been regularly visiting my blog in the hope of reading something new, here is an explanation behind this interval .... especially to the faces behind visits from Bangalore, US/Canada and Gurgaon .....

I am about to enter the initial days of a self-imposed exile ..... minimising my social interactions, de-activated from my usual hang-out places of networking websites and chat screens.

There are various reasons behind it, both Personal and Professional:

Starting with the easiest one - Professional

Well, I am planning to immerse myself completely into writing a novel, my first attempt and that requires me to live, eat and breathe the characters to bring out the intensity in my composition. The spade work is almost over and now I am ready to plunge into the waters upfront. It is quite evident that writing is something I have always been wanting to do which gets highlighted each time I accidentally lay my hands on those hand written letters and notes dating as back as 1997 but could not accomplish it owing to various reasons like entering motherhood, following a demanding career and studies. I sincerely pray to the Almighty to help me achieve it this time.

The tough one - Personal

I am re-discovering myself in terms of my strengths, potential to do something "BIG" and to be honest, I have never held too high an opinion about myself on those parameters. I want to prove to myself that apart from being an employee, a mother and wife, a daughter/in-law, sister/in-law....... an "ear'n'shoulder-on-call" for my friends, I can be a ME - living dreams that I always wanted to, doing things that appeal to my deepest self and attain higher levels of self-worth.

The last reason is to find a source of happiness and peace that lasts as long as I want it to. I have forever tried to find true sense of security and everlasting smiles OUTSIDE me ..... by always trying to generate happiness around me to the extent of creating a utopia, looking into relationships, my soulmate, my daughter ......... nothing lasts and even if it appears to be, it shall cease to be ! Actually, I am wrong in my approach of going EXTERNAL each time, true solace is something INTERNAL and the source should be located within oneself .... if someone should have the key controls of my body, mind and soul, it must be ME. I want to make myself strong enough to take up this responsibility of completely taking charge of herself. I couldn't have had a better set of family and friends than I presently do and I can cross my heart and say that they truly love me ..... I want to utilise this opportunity to rebuild my inner self.

But, as the famous line from Om Shanti Om goes ....

Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost .....

So, watch out for the second part of this blog.

Wong's Beauty Parlour ....

Women in Gurgaon, they all look the same .... Straight tresses of hair with golden streaks in an effort to go European, skin freshly waxed making them resemble a dressed chicken, wearing huge sunglasses and impeccable make-up even late in the evening stumbling upon barricades, holding a clutch and a mobile, talking endlessly, conforming to the Gurgaon dress code for women .... capri coupled with a sleeveless, tight top. I find it very amusing ....

I never visit the beauty parlour or buy clothes myself, unless there is a wedding in the family, especially my in-laws' family. I am apprenticed when it comes to matters of beauty and skin care or even wardrobe and I hate exposing myself amidst such veterans of beauty all staring at my unkempt looks. So, I prefer staying safe and secure inside my cocoon, wearing light make up on special occasions and dressing in whatever is gifted to me by my family and friends over the years. But, this is very often challenged by my husband and my best friend, Soni, who really prefer dressed chicken over a bowl of salad ..... Ha!

A couple of days back, my sister-in-law had come over from Canada and she wanted to get some basic beauty stuff done like waxing, facial, eyebrows etc. And, guess what? I was supposed to give her company at the parlour. I could not fight back this time, against my husband, sis-in-law, bro-in-law, pa and ma-in-law and they managed to brain wash me into getting some treatments done myself, after a year without any beauty jobs. I was anxious the whole day and finally it was 5 pm .... "Time to go the parlour .... Hurry Up!", screamed my sis-in-law and I unwillingly sat beside her in the car.

We reached the market and I was as nervous as a patient awaiting a surgery in the OPD. It was a hot day and there it was ....

"Wong's Chinese Beauty Parlour"

"Chinese? .... ", I thought. Why Chinese? Was it meant, for the Chinese or by the Chinese or of the Chinese.

I entered the aircon chilled room and was greeted by a sweet looking girl and I saw a man of Southeast Asian descent, probably the owner, was it Mr. Wong himself (?), staring at me as if I was Mowgli coming right out of the jungle and had to be given a more civilised look. I clutched the hands of my sis-in-law, who appeared to be more confident. We were handed over the rate list and my jaws dropped looking at that exorbitant price list. The cheapest facial was for Rs.450, a Fruit facial followed by Rs.550 for Aroma facial going up to Rs.1050 for some strangely named facial. Waxing for for Rs.400 (full body) ..... I started with some mental mathematics and it ran into thousands for the two of us. I gave a sigh of relief thinking that I would be able to demotivate my husband over the phone by saying I am running out of cash but, alas! he came up with a solution of getting everything done and he would turn up with the balance cash later. (Personally, I feel it is colossal waste, sheer murder of money when one spends over such temporary things ... explains why I hate visiting beauticians even after years of neglect. )

So, my sis-in-law decided we go for Aroma facial, bleaching of face, waxing and eyebrows. We went sent to separate cubicles and Mr. Wong asked us to hurry up as there were other appointments lined up.

The beautician looked at me like a butcher would, sharpening his knives and she smiled at me in a failed effort to make me feel comfortable and here is what that followed ....

I was asked to change into a gown, of sorts .... It appeared to be a free size blue coloured strapped, sleeveless frock, if I may say barely falling into any category of decent clothing which is defined to be covering bodies. I somehow mustered up the courage to wear it and felt sorry for myself just like a model walking down the ramp experiencing a wardrobe malfunction. Yikes! I shuddered at the very thought of wearing that for the next hour or so.

I stood there, frozen like a scare crow before being asked to take position for the waxing. I could see the beautician take out the knife and putting some hot, molten wax all over me. Ouuccch!! It was such a horrible experience. Wonder why females want to go through it every fortnight. My discomfort with the beauty gown was so obvious that my desi beautician sensed it. "Arrey Madam! Why are you so shy? You have no idea of what all gets waxed here. You are getting just your limbs procedured. Your fears are so illogical. Just relax.", she said in pure hindi in an attempt to calm me down. These words set my mind into a tizzy trying to understand her words and more importantly, how am I supposed to appease myself through them. After an excrutiating session, it finally got over. Good Riddance!

It was turn for the facial now. I was asked to lie down over the facial bench. My face was thoroughly examined and comments were aplenty. "Madame, aapney kitney dino se facial nahi karaya? Kitney black heads hain .... aur itney blemishes .... aapko toh ozone treatment ki zaroorat hai ....", it would have gone endlessly if I hadn't intercepted, politely asking her to shut her stinky mouth up and start with her hands. The aircon was freezing and I was feeling cold to the last bone, in my skimpy, useless beauty gown. What a torture in the name of beauty treatment! I was thankfully given a sheet to make myself comfortable. Barring for the relaxing facial and neck massage everything else was bothersome ..... the bleach which made my eyes runny and my skin itchy, the black head removal with the hopelessly painful screw like tool, the facepack which would just refuse to dry up and when it finally did, I was barely able to talk owing to the stiffness on the skin, left at the mercy of the beautician who went elsewhere for a good 30 minutes until I threatened to leave. I definitely got worked up!

After I was cleaned, I dressed back again hurriedly as there was a queue of ladies waiting to enter the torture chamber after me.

I came out and there we had Mr. Wong again, giving me a pleased look, very similar to the expression on a Dog Trainer's face when he is finally able to tame the pet on toilet manners and other tricks. I had to wait because my sis-in-law hadn't finished yet, prolonging my exposure to the much avoidable Mr. Wong. I glanced at all the awards and certificates he had received from The Blossom Kocchar herself and a few snaps of Mr. Wong with other celebrities.

I felt quite intimidated and very often our eyes met and it was so obvious that he wanted to say something. Finally, he broke his silence and spoke in a reasonably good angrezi - "Madam, I would suggest a smart haircut for you, blunt in front and steps at the back which will bring life and bounce to your oval face. Try it!" I politely got myself out of the conversation saying I had other committments for the evening and asked my sis-in-law to hurry up as it was getting too much for me to handle getting constantly analysed in terms of my face and hair etc.

Finally, it was all over and I brought some cash and paid off the bill.

I stepped out and gave a sigh of relief !

K~ and her Dad were quite appreciative of how I looked making me feel a lot better after all that I had gone through ..... But, still not enough to change my mind against beauty parlours!

I certainly have a new found respect for all the women who prefer going through this horrible ordeal so often just to look good!

K~ and Badi Naani

K~ is very pleased with her new found companion .... her Badi Naani .... she is, her Great Grandma. She has stayed with us on earlier occassions but it is only this time that K~ has connected with her Badi Naani. The week that went by has built a great bonding between the two.

Honestly, I find striking similarities between K~ and BN (Badi Naani).

To start with, both prefer food which is semi-mashed, less spicy and chilly free.

Both take the same time to finish their meals.

Both are dependent on us for their basic needs like hunger, thirst, going out etc.

Both are the same size .... well, almost! (with K~ at five years plus, slightly tallish and BN at eighty two years plus in her petite frame)

Both are extremely expressive .... especially about happiness and joy. It only takes a tight hug and a light peck on the cheeks of Badi Naani to bring about a contended smile on her sagging lips which stays there for a while .... only one suggestion to visit the park in the evening which sets her little eyes on fire with sheer excitement and her shaky hands quickly assembling her Hearing Aid into her blouse .... making her slow paced walk a wee bit faster. It is such a pleasure to witness her response to these small things that one does keeping her in mind.

But, there is one huge difference between K~ and BN. That is, the expression of pain and anguish. I cannot forget how BN sobbed quietly after reading my post "Dida" on this blog which dilated her eyes and she found it difficult to read any more, partially owing to her age. But, she did not want to miss out on reading the blog and asked me to read the rest of my blog posts, relishing every bit of it. Her laughter and smiles that followed those tears made me comfortable and motivated me to read the rest of my blog in a loud yet low voice for her understanding and we spent a lovely, quiet afternoon together. Afterwards, she spoke about her own heart felt moments .... how she lost her own mother at a very young age of twelve .... her marriage to Badey Nana (who is no more with us) at age fifteen, his extremely romantic expressions , especially a beautiful poem that he wrote for her .... her eyes gleamed with joy narrating all this to me.

BN loves to read. She expressed her growing disappointment over her failing eyesight and deteriorating hearing which is slowly affecting her favourite hobbies - Reading and Watching Television. (I put myself into her shoes for a minute .... Isn't it scary to be deprived of the two most valued senses i.e. hearing and seeing, especially when your system does not support much of other activities with growing age?) I really admire her courage and zest for life that she is still able to laugh, talk and relish her days as much as we do or perhaps more. Touchwood!

So, coming back to K~ and similarities with her Badi Naani .....

Both of them love reading books.

Both of them like playing cards for hours together.

Both of them are scared to visit the doctor ... believe me, it is true! Last evening, when we took her to the doctor, her first reaction was to visit the toilet to relieve herself of her anxiety and fear and she barely smiled till the ENT job was over! So cute .......

Both of them enjoy the rains and like the wetness of light drizzle sitting in the balcony ....

It makes me contemplate...

Do we all complete a full circle in our lives, starting off as a baby moving into childhood followed by youth and then, become a child again in our later years? We cherish the little joys and treasure the worry-free smiles exactly the same way, as a five year old kid would do. And probably, we become happy and carefree yet again.

Wonder why does it take an entire lifetime for us to finally realise that real happiness had nothing to do with those high ambitions, lofty plans and colossal desires which we fulfilled all through our life, wasting our heydays. The solace and smiles we were searching always existed in the warmth and care of our soulmate, the dream holiday we kept planning actually could have been celebrated each evening and night within our very home, the appreciation and applause we yearned for amongst witty strangers was really worth one genuine compliment coming from a true friend .... if only we cared!

Thank you K~ and Badi Naani !

I learn so much from both of you.