Carrot or Stick?

The other day, we met an acquaintance in a nearby Mall. The wife was relentless in forcing her kids to greet us. "Mannu, Auntie Uncle ko namastey bol nahi toh ek doongi!" It set me thinking ...

Do we really need to discipline children .... or even ourselves?

This issue crops up in my mind every now and then, especially when I see my peers achieving big successes and talk about their complying kids as a result of their efforts to discipline life. Let me confess, I am an absolute bunch of disorganised thoughts, unfinished tasks, hopelessly hyperactive and occasionally insane. Even after living almost half my life, earning that one grey strand of hair over my right ear, I have been anything but disciplined! I remember pasting Time-Table and Study Schedules all over my study table wall, being inspired by my sister who had been brilliant academically, but always failed to follow those schedules. I had become a laughing stock of my family with my inability to follow those self made time-tables, which got quoted in good humour, wherever possible. Once, I overheard Maa talking aloud to my maid, "Kesar, daal pisi rakhi hai teen dino se, jaldi se dhoop mein badi daal de, warna uska bhi kahin timpu ka time-table na ban jaaye!" (Both chuckling together at my expense!!)

Now, I could never ever manage to tame K~, being a slave of my own natural instincts. She slept, ate, learnt, played and even pooped whenever she felt like! There were countless times when everyone around me would snub me and blame me for my own miseries like waking up the entire night because K~ wanted to play, cook Aloo Parantha at 1 am in the night as K~ wanted to eat only then and just that, disrespecting Maa Saraswati when teaching K~ during potty time ..... the list could go on. But, I could never act upon their advice, however hard I tried! I found myself on the verge of Mental Breakdown, when K~ kept me awake for the first 6 months of her life .... everyday, without fail. Somehow, I could never learn to strictly make her do what I wanted, partially owing to my laziness too.

But, my inabilities made way for K~'s abilities, which I would like to share with you.

When her body system was left non-interfered, it chalked out a schedule on it's own. Strange it may sound, but K~'s poop-time is evening after having her evening snack and not morning, homework-time is right after she gets back from school even before eating lunch, which doesn't take more than 15 minutes at her age, bathing-time is 3:30 afternoon after her favourite TV programme ends and not before going to school, dinner-time is when she wants to play Snakes and Ladders which could be 7 pm or 8 pm or 9 pm, but always when she asks for food. I have realised that I save myself a lot of extra efforts to feed her, if she is self-motivated to eat. In an nutshell, her body has managed to create it's own schedule happily without that element of forced compliance.

My carelessness has forced her to be attentive and my ineptness has aroused her alertness. Just like my parent, I find her reminding me to cut my long nails, moisturise my dry feet and complete her pending Scrap Book. Probably, I kiss her and say "I Love You" a million times everyday to which she would sigh in response and say "Mumma, tumko kucch nahi aata. Bass sirf yehi yehi bolti rehti ho." The pleasure of getting coaxed by loved ones cannot be expressed in mere words!

There have been many occasions when I have lost my temper and scolded K~ in the heat of the moment .... thrashed her bottoms too .... but, my anger was never provoked by any sense to control and discipline my girl nor to make her concentrate on any task .... book .... even food and never ever to artificially inculcate hollow social values.

In winters, she hates taking a bath, which I have always respected. So, during the tough chill, I give her a bath every alternate day and not everyday, which perhaps helps her to stay away from cough and coryza in spite of getting exposed to sneezing feverish kids in school and during transport.

Well, I could never really discipline myself nor K~ .... just doused her with all my love, affection and blessings, countless times and unsought. In return, the Angels have always blessed her with happiness and learning while protecting her from illness.

I shall always believe that the language of Unconditional Love rather than Over Discipline creates happier children. It is more for the sake of our personal convenience and false egos than a child's benefit, that we push rules and regulations within our homes!!

K~'s Birth Event

Dear K~,

Today, I want to share a few details with you regarding your birth. Your presence in my life was planned with patience and I truly relished every minute of carrying you, except for the last few days when I lost Dida, right before your birth.

15th June, 2004

6:00 pm - Visit to Dr. Veena Bhatt for a routine check up. She asked me to be ready with my bags and papers because you were in position to be born any time then.

7:00 pm: At HaldiRam's complex, Lajpat Nagar with Papa treating me to all my favourite dishes, especially Chaat and Dosa.

10:00 pm: Me fast asleep, tired after a long day and checking all important papers and bag was in order.

16th June, 2004

2:00 am - The first signs of labour begin. No painful contractions yet. I wake Papa up.

2:15 am - I inform the symptoms to Dr. Bhatt with Papa going nervous leading to an upset bowel.

2:30 am - I get dressed and mentally ready for the long haul, while Papa keeps the car ready with the suitcase and papers.

2:45am - Reach Moolchand Hospital. I get admitted into the Labour Waiting Room while Papa sets the Almirah in the Patient Private Room, where I would be shifted after your birth.

3:00 am - I am administered Enema, my Blood Pressure, Pulse Rate measured. A junior doctor goes through my papers carefully to study my case.

4:00 am - I am getting impatient and nervous. No pains as of now, but the associated labour symptoms are intensifying each minute. Papa is nowhere in sight! I ask the Nurse to let him meet me.

5:00 am - I can feel my lower back throbbing, well within tolerable limits. Even then, I prefer walking around instead of lying on the bed staring at the wall .... the most depressing act possible!

Papa is fast asleep in the Patient Private Room after he was strictly refused entry into the ward.

6:00 am - The first painful contractions begin, forcing me to lie down on the bed. As per the doctors around, you were progressing fast towards birth and so was my body responding exceptionally well to your efforts. The hormone levels were in complete sync, the cervix was opening at a rapid rate and the contractions had become very frequent and intense.

7:00 am - I was now experiencing the worst pain of my life and missed Dida badly. I had contractions every few minutes.

8:00 am - You were now ready to be born. The contractions were non-stop and I was rushed to the Delivery Room, which felt very cold and intimidating, with four new faces other than Dr. Bhatt whom I was consulting throughout pregnancy. Well, there was an addition of Dr. Anjali Mathur, Paediatrician, Sister Leena, a Nurse and a Gentleman, about whom I really did not feel like knowing anything. Jeez!

I was made to sit on the surgical station and explained about the equipment around me. Dr. Bhatt and Dr. Mathur made me comfortable by updating me about the progress so far and the procedure that still remained.

After forty three minutes of breathing in and out and undergoing countless painful contractions, you gave your first cry at 8:43 am. You were born head-out first, in the normal delivery mode .... all dirty and gooey .... screaming your lungs out with the maroon-greyish umbilical cord still connected to Mumma. I was speechless looking at you, unable to believe it was finally over .... I had become a mother after all! I held you for a while with you slipping away from my hands. The umbilical cord was separated from you and your tiny belly button was pegged with a blue coloured plastic peg.

You were wiped with a warm towel, my name labeled on your left foot, your response tested by pinching you at various places, clapping near your ears, torch being shined around your eyes and your breathing checked. You weighed 3.13 kg. and kept crying all this while, which was good to clear your lungs of any mucous or water, as per Dr. Mathur.

Inspite of being all sweaty, hungry and tired by then, I was dying to take you in my arms forever! However, I was given a shot and asked to close my eyes as my Pulse Rate had dropped alarmingly low, hinting at acute exhaustion. I was kept under observation for an hour ....

10 :00 am - I open my eyes to see you all wrapped up in a towel in Papa's arms who kept saying, "Ekdum Sonali Bendre lagti hai!" He just didn't know how to react to your stares and cries! I was then shifted to my Private Room which had a Baby Cot too.

The whole day, there were many visitors coming over to meet you and give their blessings too. It rained the whole night on 16th June 2004 and you did not sleep a wink. Papa wrapped you in his arms and kept running between Nursery, where you were fed milk and our Private Room. We kept staring at you helplessly, unable to understand your unstoppable cries and shrieks. Dadi arrived the next morning and took charge of you while me and Papa slept like a log over the bed and bench respectively. Dadi woke me up occasionally to feed you.

Life could never be the same again ........

I Love You K~, for coming into my life and making it beautiful!

K~'s Sketching on Children's Day at School

K~'s Stories

K~ has a very special favourite past time - Making Stories.

She expects me to provide the story characters which she expands further into an interesting plot and at times, supports it with her amateurish pencil and crayon sketches too. Obviously, she does not write the story but narrates it to herself very softly before finally holding the sketch in her tiny hands, saying her story aloud to me. This game is a great life saving exercise, especially when I am trying to concentrate on a task and do not want to be nagged by her, every now and then. So, all I have to do is, give her 3-4 names and she would start spinning a story out of it, meaningfully engaged for the next 15-20 minutes.

Good Riddance!

On a better note, I would like to state a few observations based on this interaction with her.

1. K~ is self-obsessed and keeps mentioning about herself in each story.

2. K~ weaves very happy ending stories and the story plot patterns are very typical. One of the characters face a huge difficulty, which gets solved with the help of other characters and all is well in the end! It proves that we are all born with an optimistic approach and a positive attitude which gets influenced otherwise with growing age and negative worldly experiences.

3. All stories begin and end with the same lines, "Once upon a time....." and "And they lived happily ever after. The End." respectively.

Archiving a few of her stories below trying to quote her words as much as I can recall:

Bumble Bee, Butterfly and The Ladybug

Once upon a time, there lived three best friends in a beautiful green garden at E6/3, PLF Extensive Floors. The garden belonged to a beautiful girl called K~, who was very kind and lovely.The bumble bee and butterfly would buzz around flowers, drinking nectar from them.

One day, the bumble bee and the butterfly saw that the ladybug was crying. They stopped immediately and asked her "Why are you crying, dear ladybug?" The ladybug said,"I am crying because I cannot fly like both of you. I am useless. The butterfly is so beautiful and the bee gives nectar. But, I don't look nice and do not have nectar to make honey. And, when both of you are gone during the day, I miss you both, sitting all by myself."

The Butterfly and Bumble Bee felt very bad for their friend and decided to help him. They brought a long green leaf and asked the Ladybug to sit on it. Then, the Butterfly and Bumble Bee held it tightly at the corners and started flying taking the Ladybug along with them. The Ladybug was very happy to be with her friends all the time.

And, they all lived happily ever after. The End!

The Caterpillar and Kind K~

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful girl named K~. One day, K~ was playing in her garden and watering the plants. Suddenly, she heard someone cry. She started looking for him. No sooner than she did, she could feel a wriggle at her toes. Actually, a small Caterpillar was weeping hard.

She asked the Caterpillar,"Why are you crying?". The Caterpillar said,"I look so ugly. Also, Lalu, the gardener does not let me be. He waters the plants so hard that I keep falling from the leaves I am eating. I cannot even spin my cocoon in peace."

K~ replied,"Don't worry, Caterpillar. You will very soon turn into a beautiful Butterfly. I will scold Lalu and ask him to water all the plants nicely, so that you are not disturbed while eating and spinning your cocoon." K~ did just that.

A few days later, a beautiful butterfly came to K~ and thanked her. Wow! It was the same Caterpillar whom K~ had helped out.

And they all lived happily ever after. The End.

Lion, Elephant, Monkey and K~'s Birthday Party

Once upon a time, there was a big jungle in which lived a Lion, an Elephant and a monkey. They used to play together and have fun.

One day, it was K~'s birthday and she invited all of them to her birthday party.

The Lion, Elephant and Monkey thought very hard of a gift for K~. They kept thinking and thinking with their brains. "Aha!", said the Elephant,"Why don't we gift K~ some lovely Maroola flowers. K~ loves flowers.". But, the Elephant and Monkey did not agree. They had a fight in the end.

The day went by and they could not get any gift for K~. They were very sad and they said sorry to K~ for being so mean.

K~ said,"It is OK, friends. I am happy because you were able to make it to my birthday. That's the best gift you could have given me. Now, let us all play together and have fun."

And, they all lived happily ever after. The End!

I wish life was as simple and happy as these stories. K~, I pray that your own life story has a very happy ending too and may you get enough opportunities to help everyone around just like your imagined tales.

Always Be Happy, my little Angel!

Evolution of daily food

Food is one of the most prominent features that define society. It very subtly reveals our taste, preferences, climate, history, culture, religion and the living patterns, at large.

I have been fortunate to experience the most traditional bengali cuisine mastered by Thamma (paternal grandmother) since childhood, followed by a modified North-Eastern fusion, yet largely bengali cooking by Maa after Thamma's death and very recently relished typical Awadhi cooking by Amma, my mother-in-law hailing from Eastern Uttar Pradesh after the sudden demise of Maa. I love to eat delicious home made food, especially if served with warmth - the last but not the least important ingredient that completes any eating experience.

Wise men say that "A family that prays and eats together at least once a day shall always stay together." And I can definitely feel a special warmth with my family while singing bhajans (during festivals) or eating that one meal at dinner time, in togetherness. Actually, if we carefully analyse , it is during our prayers when His Holiness overtakes our petty pride and prejudices and our minds get tastefully satisfied while eating, both helping us forget mutual differences for a while. So, wise men definitely have a very strong basis for the above statement.

Anyway, coming back to evolution of daily food, I would like to begin with my early childhood, when it was quite an elaborate affair. My thamma was a very traditional bangaali who took pride in preserving the eastern roots in her family till the last day of her life through inculcating music, poetry, academics and food. She strictly wore only cotton sarees and tied it the bengali way, always. I recall my early childhood days when my home smelt of incense sticks, fish curry (macher jhol) and aging books, all mixed up harmoniously.

Bengali style of Saree-Drape

Food had to be eaten following definite meal courses. On one hand, this huge variety of food made it cumbersome to be cooked everyday, while on the other hand, the nutrition and taste one derived would be increased manifold.

Breakfast was quite monotonous where we would be forced to finish a bowl of roti, milk and banana - all mashed together for it's health value. But, thamma made up for this forced early morning palate torture inflicted on us during the rest of the meals through an elaborate lunch/dinner and the yummiest evening snacks with our evening glass of milk.

Macher Jhol (Fish Curry)

Rosho-Golla

A typical lunch/dinner menu would comprise of the following courses, essentially in that order.

Teito with Rice

(Dry preparation of Bitter Gourd cooked with Neem or Margosa leaves and brinjal served with Rice)

Daal & Shobji Bhaja with Rice

(Lentils and crispy fried vegetables served with Rice)

Torkari & Vegetable Koptaas with Rice

(Vegetables, especially lots of greens or vegetable balls cooked in typical Bengali gravy)

Macher Jhol with Rice

( Bengali Fish curry cooked with/out vegetables usually tempered with paanch foron consisting of cumin, mustard, fenugreek, fennel and black cumin and long green chillies)

Mishti

(Sweet dessert usually kheer, sandesh, rasgulla or Mishti Doi)

After my thamma passed away when I was five, Maa took over the reins of household completely and carried on with the culinary legacy. Maa was more experimental with food and introduced different Cuisines like South Indian and Chinese into our daily food, while cutting down on the heavy meal courses as she was into a full time job of teaching.

The change was quite evident in terms of lesser time being spent over the dining table and the kitchen and our palate started experiencing newer tastes. The evening snacks were replaced with commercial biscuits and four course meals were restricted to weekends. Roti replaced Rice during Dinner and non-vegetarian dishes were tried out in gravies of Mutton and Chicken too, which were then consumed only once a week.

I got married in early 2001, almost a decade back, into a family of Eastern Uttar Pradesh which gave me enough opportunities to then taste typical North Indian meals. Amma, my mother-in-law is a fine cook and consistently ensures variety in her cooking. My observation regarding the typical North Indian meals is pretty simple, they do not live to eat but eat to live, unlike bengalis who have an unbelievable passion and patience for food. Breakfast is extremely interesting in sharp contrast to my childhood. Cheela, Poha, Pakoda, Upma, Egg Omelet with Toast, Kachori with Dum Aloo and Jalebi ..... Slurrrp!!! Breakfast is the best part at my sasuraal.

Kebabs

Chicken Roast

Lunch and Dinner is simplified with a Daal, Sabji, Roti, Chutney, Raita and Salad. Snacks are aplenty like sumptuous non-vegetarian as well as green kebabs, chicken fry and roasted, various tikkas and desserts are usually Halwa made with seasonal ingredients like Carrots, Plain Gourd(Lauki), Makhana (lotus seeds) or Moong Daal. Commercial sweets like Gulab Jamun with Rabdi is also consumed very often. It has been a different flavour altogether.

My husband also happens to be reasonably good at cooking and is a trained Chef since his Hotel Management days, where he specialised in Food Production whereas I took up Accommodation Management.

My journey in food has been quite an interesting one so far. That just leaves us with one question .... What do I cook? ;-))

Well, I feel burdened by the legacy concept and cook whatever comes to my mind at that moment. There are days when I would feel motivated enough to lay a feast over the table including Bengali food on one extreme or would rather cook up 2-minute noodles on days when I feel less energetic. I belong to today's generation of spoilt home-makers, I guess!

Going by the cooking patterns which have conveniently got simplified with each generation, I shudder to think what would K~ be cooking when she goes the family way !!

If I was a Man ....

At times, I wonder!

What if God had given each human being the freedom to live like a man in the first half of his life and as a woman in the second, or vice versa. Last evening, I was enjoying some Ginger Lemon Tea at Barista with a very dear schoolmate of mine and we naturally drifted to our teenage days .... when my identity was more of a quiet tom-boy - dressed in trousers, bob-cut hair, riding a bike and participating in numerous sports events at school. Not that I am any better now .... barring for my hair which have grown long on an earnest request made by my husband a decade back! Anyway, I felt that hint of masculinity in my personality after many years which led to me bird-watching around. Now, such opportunities are available amply in Gurgaon buzzing with teenage hot-chicks and attempting-to-look-young type middle-aged housewives. My friend asked me a simple question, "Shruti, if you were a man, whom would you date?" The answer/s came after much contemplation, which I want to record on this blog.

So, here it is ....

Surely, I would have been a voracious man, wanting to experience a close interaction with almost all types of talented women. I shortlisted four women, whom I find extremely gifted and beautiful amongst many more.

Chantal Creviazuk - The Melody Queen at No.4

In descending order, at No.4 is Chantal Creviazuk, 36 years old, a trained pianist and guitarist, fabulous lyricist and well-acclaimed singer. She soared to fame with the song "Leaving on a jet plane ...." from the block buster Hollywood film "Armageddon". She has won many prestigious awards and still going strong.

I still remember the first time I watched her a decade back on television in the official "Armageddon" album .... sans any make up, hair tied back neatly in a ponytail wearing a strap black top. She prefers to be shot very simply in any video - sitting at the piano with no fake story plot to support her song. One enters a strange trance watching her emoting the song lyrics through facial expressions and body language. She does not need any characterisation to reach out to the audience.

I wish I could have a chance to know her from close quarters being a man and watch her sing heart felt notes, just for me, all with a hint of romance. Eh!

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Shakira - The Raw Danseuse at No.3

At No.3 is Shakkirrrrrra .............. OOMPH!

It is such a pleasure to watch her hip gyrating movements which defy all possible bone frames of a human body. I would have played the man percussionist while she would have swayed passionately to my rhythm and beats, occasionally exchanging intense glances with me.

Shakira, aged 32, who owns many Grammy and Golden Globe awards has gloriously topped all musical charts with every album release. She has been consistent with her success .... Hips Really Don't Lie .... I guess! The best part of her persona is her utter self-confidence which comes out with her choice of bold lyrics where she does not shy away from talking about the humble dimensions of her body (Whenever Wherever) or her musical partnerships with other artistes while making videos like Beyonce Knowles (Beautiful Liar) and Wyclef Jean (Hips don't lie), without ever feeling threatened at being overpowered by them on screen.

Oh! How much I would have loved to keep a manly pace with her perpetually charged up dance steps.

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Meena Kumari - The Multi-faceted Diva at No.2

Late Meena Kumari, the extremely talented yet self-destructive tragedy queen has always captured my dark imagination. How could such rare talent, a heady concoction of beauty, acting, singing and poetry, waste herself in heavy drinking leading to a painful death due to liver cirrhosis? How could her deceptively sensitive and immensely talented husband, Kamal Amrohi Saheb, possibly neglect such a worthy wife just on the basis of Shia Sunni conflicting values?

She addressed her broken relationship with her husband in such apt words:

तलाक तो दे रहे हो, नज़र-ऐ-कहर के साथ,

जवानी भी मेरी लौटा दो महर के साथ.

I get moved beyond words each time that I read her Biography. I have tears rolling down my cheeks whenever I listen to her Ghazal collection - "I write, I recite." She remained deprived of true love and intense affection throughout her life.

If I was a man, I would have made her experience true soulful love .... on the same plane and matching her intensity. When I think of her from a man's perspective, it is more of a gentle fondness that captivates my heart than anything else!

She would have been a treasure .... the most precious one in my life whom I could never hurt nor desert, for sure !!!

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Jhumpa Lahiri - The Irresistible Author at No.1

The most appealing woman to my imagined manly instincts is Jhumpa Lahiri .... She definitely has a mind and intellect to match!

She has a signature style in anything and everything about her .... beautiful looks, introverted disposition, lucid writing, confused motherhood and a casual attitude towards stardom and recognition. She is definitely different.

Be it Pulitzer prize or Bookers prize ..... nothing seems to affect her and consequently her talent never stales nor gets impacted negatively. It is her ability to turn simple life incidents and plain characters into an interesting read that puts her on a much higher pedestal than contemporary literature stalwarts. Way to go, girl!!

As a man, I would have aroused all my intellectual capabilities to bond with her mentally, emotionally and spiritually .... Not advisable to go any further from here. For, this is but a blog present in the public domain ..... Mind It! Ha Ha.

She would have been my ultimate dream date whom I would have married eventually .... Well!

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Phew!!

I guess my tea at Barista is over and perhaps, it will never be my cup of tea to realise whatever I have written above. But, who could ever chain thoughts and fantasies?

Beauty and some Beasts

Hon'ble Speaker at Lok Sabha - Then

Hon'ble Speaker at Lok Sabha - Now

I hate politics .... for it is too dry and boring to capture my attention span which is captivated better by Page 3 and Delhi Times, Soul Curry and God in Gucci type masala supplements. In sharp contrast, my husband reads the serious news and watches only news channels, forcing me to sit with him during evening tea, while I would be in perpetual yawns, perhaps more interested in the attire of the news reader minutely observing the make up she would be wearing along with the occasional reading of news snippets scrolling on the screen below.

Now, I had an enthralling experience the other day while surfing through TV channels .... I stopped almost instantaneously on Lok Sabha Television. There was this charismatic lady with a signature smile, perched up on the Hon'ble Speaker's chair trying to conduct the day amidst the unruly bunch of parliamentarians. I held the TV remote for a while mesmerised by her composure, grit and chilled out attitude. Cool Man! I thought to myself recognising her as The Meira Kumar.

I found out more about her which is pretty easy in today's context, thanks to Google search and Wikipedia. Anyway, I was impressed by her glorious lineage, astounding qualifications and career, a clean socio-political record and extraordinary inter-personnel skills which got her elected as the first woman speaker of Lok Sabha, that too UNOPPOSED. I continued reading .... Daughter of prominent Dalit leader, Babu Jagjeevan Ram, a post graduate in Law from Miranda House, Delhi University, she joined Indian Foreign Services in 1973 and served at Embassies in Spain, UK and Mauritius. It was much later in 1985 that she entered Politics and consequently beat powerful opponents like Ram Vilas Paswan and Mayawati in her constituency Bijnor .... Blah Blah Blah!!!!

(Big Yawwnn ..... I warned you, I get bored of Politics .... so, let me come directly to the point.)

In short, she proved her mettle as a seasoned diplomat, a sound academician and a clever politician using her wit and charms to win over people and situations. She appeared to be a master at Mob Management and Anger Management, making herself an excellent case study of Behavioural Sciences.

One would half expect a dignified lady draped perfectly in starched silk saree, with polished mannerisms, conversing with utter finesse, to be able to manage the uncouth crowd in the Indian Parliament. But, to my amazement, Meira Kumar does a better taming job than her predecessor Somnath Da. No offence meant, but Shri Somnath Chatterjee had a fixed expression of disgust on his face with a bovine lung power which made him scream louder than the parliament offenders themselves. The media exploited the situation and happily thrived on covering stories of his frequent emotional outbursts.

Meira Kumar holds herself with calm without ever letting go of her lovely smile nor her soft voice .... even in tough situations like the walk-out of the opposition party workers right on the first day of Winter Session.

All this makes me think .... Do we need only women in such kind of conflict centric job positions? What makes ladies as counsellors, teachers, trainers, lawyers etc. more approachable to clients than men?

I recall my own experience at work .... We had a tough nut to crack .... a Union leader who would just not sign on his appraisal form blaming the entire system to be unfair and unjust. I was finally given this task which made me jittery as I was out of the Management School hardly a year back. Somehow, I mustered up the courage and sat across him in a private room .... trying to bring expressions on his cold face and words out of his stiff lips. I started on a very casual note without even touching upon the matter of appraisal which was kept inside the drawyer of the table. I struck a conversation on God, taking a clue from a huge teeka on his forehead ... asking him about places around where I could buy poojan-saamagri and temples to visit, as I was new to the place. He shared with me his passion for Hinduism and how the present generation was destroying it. He spoke at great length about Hindu deities and methods of worship. Once the ice was broken, I was easily able to manoeuvre the interaction and finally all went well. Phew! Later, I discovered that all difficult Performance Appraisals were conducted by lady Managers. Perhaps, it is the ability to empathise with people concerned or at least the appearance of it that makes women good at resolving conflicts.

Anyway, one truth has been established in the case of Indian Parliament - presence of soft spoken and well dressed ladies makes a huge difference to the over all decorum. Women will always make the Lok Sabha an interesting place to be.

And, I have one last suggestion to make regarding the attendance during important proceedings on milestone days like Commencement of Winter/Summer/Rainy etc. Session.
An item song by Mallika Sherawat or Rakhi Sawant at the end of such days would ensure no walk-outs whilst improving the efficiency of Parliamentarians.

Talk about Woman-Power !!!

Hello, Mr. Frost. How do you do?

Bar-be-Que with friends

"Only for K~, Papa and Mumma" Bar-be-Que

Am I happy? Well .....

The best part of tropical weather has finally arrived. Winters are here to stay for the next three months providing ample opportunities to relish sumptuous food, enjoy interesting indoor activities and gazing at a bountiful flora. Physical Health is at it's best during these cold days .... no indigestion, irritating rashes or skin breaks and no sweating during my long evening walks.

I want to count the experiences that make winters soooo special to me ....

First and foremost, it brings the family together in an array of activities. The bed boxes are opened, lofts are explored and fresh discoveries are made about K~'s physical development. "Oh My! Look at how tall K~ has grown since last year .... the woollen pyjamas look like shorts OR Oh, No! This jacket does not fit anymore!" All warm clothing and heavy quilts, fresh out of packing, smell of naphtha .... sweaters, jackets, ponchos, shawls, inner warmers, caps, mittens and the socks are piled up at one place to be aired and arranged in the wardrobes. Sheets are laid all over the garden, every possible piece of furniture comes out into the balcony and these warm treasures neatly arranged to bask in the sun until evening. In the night, K~ and Mumma would stack it together into the respective almirahs and literally squeeze words of appreciation from each one around. What fun!

Then, here comes the Bar-be-Que ....

The mixed aroma of charcoal smoke, sausages, kebabs, marinated meats and spices along with a nice drink arouse the goofy side of mine. The entire experience gets enriched further with some heart warming talks with loved ones, a few songs and the after-effects of getting drunk .... Hic Hic! These cold evenings and freezing nights provide the best time to organise private bar-be-que in the backyard garden. Bar-be-Que is supposed to be essentially a Man's job (at least that's what I say to motivate K~'s Papa ... who cares about the antecedents of it?) making it more worth while for me to simply get pampered without getting my hands dirty at all. And K~ loves to cosy up to me after getting full with all the tasty treats while I put her to sleep in the warmth of my lap and the glowing embers.

I can gorge endlessly on Gajar ka Halwa, which has been my palate weakness since childhood. I remember having made a record, of sorts, at age ten in single handed emptying up of an entire gajar halwa bowl (made with 2 kg. grated carrot cooked in 1 kg. sugar, 4 kg. milk and 1/2 kg. khoya along with countless spoons of ghee) in just one day. That's right! One day was all I took to finish it up and I remember falling ill the next day with terrible indigestion and bouts of vomiting.

Anyway, history put aside, the point I am trying to make is that I loooove to eat this special dessert (available only during this time of the year) even today and if I get a fair chance to act myself, I will surely break my own record. How wonderful would that be!

Anyone ready to host this eating event for me?

Sleeping has always been my favourite past time and with these present shorter days and longer nights, it could not get any better. I recall my hectic job days when I had to be dragged out of bed every morning at six leaving behind the warmth of my quilt and a few unfinished dreams, both sacrificed at the altars of a ruthless clock alarm. The comfort one feels in K~'s warm cuddle inside a soft quilt, while getting engrossed in a drama based movie on television cannot be expressed through mere words.

I wish these days could last forever and ever. But, like all the cherished things in my life, this will come to an end too, altering into hot days and the merciless sun again.

Till then .... Enjoyyyyy!