If I was a Man ....

At times, I wonder!

What if God had given each human being the freedom to live like a man in the first half of his life and as a woman in the second, or vice versa. Last evening, I was enjoying some Ginger Lemon Tea at Barista with a very dear schoolmate of mine and we naturally drifted to our teenage days .... when my identity was more of a quiet tom-boy - dressed in trousers, bob-cut hair, riding a bike and participating in numerous sports events at school. Not that I am any better now .... barring for my hair which have grown long on an earnest request made by my husband a decade back! Anyway, I felt that hint of masculinity in my personality after many years which led to me bird-watching around. Now, such opportunities are available amply in Gurgaon buzzing with teenage hot-chicks and attempting-to-look-young type middle-aged housewives. My friend asked me a simple question, "Shruti, if you were a man, whom would you date?" The answer/s came after much contemplation, which I want to record on this blog.

So, here it is ....

Surely, I would have been a voracious man, wanting to experience a close interaction with almost all types of talented women. I shortlisted four women, whom I find extremely gifted and beautiful amongst many more.

Chantal Creviazuk - The Melody Queen at No.4

In descending order, at No.4 is Chantal Creviazuk, 36 years old, a trained pianist and guitarist, fabulous lyricist and well-acclaimed singer. She soared to fame with the song "Leaving on a jet plane ...." from the block buster Hollywood film "Armageddon". She has won many prestigious awards and still going strong.

I still remember the first time I watched her a decade back on television in the official "Armageddon" album .... sans any make up, hair tied back neatly in a ponytail wearing a strap black top. She prefers to be shot very simply in any video - sitting at the piano with no fake story plot to support her song. One enters a strange trance watching her emoting the song lyrics through facial expressions and body language. She does not need any characterisation to reach out to the audience.

I wish I could have a chance to know her from close quarters being a man and watch her sing heart felt notes, just for me, all with a hint of romance. Eh!

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Shakira - The Raw Danseuse at No.3

At No.3 is Shakkirrrrrra .............. OOMPH!

It is such a pleasure to watch her hip gyrating movements which defy all possible bone frames of a human body. I would have played the man percussionist while she would have swayed passionately to my rhythm and beats, occasionally exchanging intense glances with me.

Shakira, aged 32, who owns many Grammy and Golden Globe awards has gloriously topped all musical charts with every album release. She has been consistent with her success .... Hips Really Don't Lie .... I guess! The best part of her persona is her utter self-confidence which comes out with her choice of bold lyrics where she does not shy away from talking about the humble dimensions of her body (Whenever Wherever) or her musical partnerships with other artistes while making videos like Beyonce Knowles (Beautiful Liar) and Wyclef Jean (Hips don't lie), without ever feeling threatened at being overpowered by them on screen.

Oh! How much I would have loved to keep a manly pace with her perpetually charged up dance steps.

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Meena Kumari - The Multi-faceted Diva at No.2

Late Meena Kumari, the extremely talented yet self-destructive tragedy queen has always captured my dark imagination. How could such rare talent, a heady concoction of beauty, acting, singing and poetry, waste herself in heavy drinking leading to a painful death due to liver cirrhosis? How could her deceptively sensitive and immensely talented husband, Kamal Amrohi Saheb, possibly neglect such a worthy wife just on the basis of Shia Sunni conflicting values?

She addressed her broken relationship with her husband in such apt words:

तलाक तो दे रहे हो, नज़र-ऐ-कहर के साथ,

जवानी भी मेरी लौटा दो महर के साथ.

I get moved beyond words each time that I read her Biography. I have tears rolling down my cheeks whenever I listen to her Ghazal collection - "I write, I recite." She remained deprived of true love and intense affection throughout her life.

If I was a man, I would have made her experience true soulful love .... on the same plane and matching her intensity. When I think of her from a man's perspective, it is more of a gentle fondness that captivates my heart than anything else!

She would have been a treasure .... the most precious one in my life whom I could never hurt nor desert, for sure !!!

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Jhumpa Lahiri - The Irresistible Author at No.1

The most appealing woman to my imagined manly instincts is Jhumpa Lahiri .... She definitely has a mind and intellect to match!

She has a signature style in anything and everything about her .... beautiful looks, introverted disposition, lucid writing, confused motherhood and a casual attitude towards stardom and recognition. She is definitely different.

Be it Pulitzer prize or Bookers prize ..... nothing seems to affect her and consequently her talent never stales nor gets impacted negatively. It is her ability to turn simple life incidents and plain characters into an interesting read that puts her on a much higher pedestal than contemporary literature stalwarts. Way to go, girl!!

As a man, I would have aroused all my intellectual capabilities to bond with her mentally, emotionally and spiritually .... Not advisable to go any further from here. For, this is but a blog present in the public domain ..... Mind It! Ha Ha.

She would have been my ultimate dream date whom I would have married eventually .... Well!

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Phew!!

I guess my tea at Barista is over and perhaps, it will never be my cup of tea to realise whatever I have written above. But, who could ever chain thoughts and fantasies?