Classification of Bloggers

My short stint at blogging has exposed me to various kinds of blogs leading to a general understanding of their owners, which I would like to share with all of you.

Bloggers can be classified into the following 5 types:

1. GENUINE BLOGGER

The first sign of a genuine blogger is that he would have started blogging since 2005-06. He has an original content and narration style. He writes for himself and really does not care what others think about it. He catches hold of one topic like food, spirituality, travel, beauty management, training etc. etc. and will never ever deviate from it. He belongs to that breed of self-contented individuals who follow a passion ....... even if it is percieved to be complete trash and waste by others.

2. FRESH BLOGGER

The feature that sets this kind of blogger apart is his frequency of posting blogs. He would be manufacturing blogs at an unbelievable pace almost every morning, afternoon and night ............ All of a sudden, his extremely well written and formatted comments would be visible all over the well established GENUINE blogs with the hope of diverting those readers into his own recent blog through his blog profile. He would tirelessly choke the mailboxes of his close friends and acquaintance through sending his blog detail everyday and very cleverly adding his blog link at the end of his email signatures - both personal and professional. He tries to write very passionately about everything under the sun to attract all kind of blog readers acting like a broad spectrum medicine dose killing many diseases at one go.

He has this innate desire to study his blog with the help of Google Analytics which helps one know about the visitor's profiles, age, interest, countries and most visited pages, even if his blog has 2 visits in a day. He would open his blog account with the undying hope to moderate comments even if there are none. In the end, the only comments on his blog would be that of his own or his spouse.

And after a few days ....... he would calm down ......... guess his urge to blog gets over just like a tired fifty year old man dropping dead following forced sex completion on the bed after a long haul.

3. FOLLOWGGER

Blogging has become a fashion statement. It has become synonymous with great intellectual abilities and a sound knowledge tank. So, here we have a few aspiring bloggers who get impressed by the efforts of GENUINE BLOGGER and follow his footsteps into blogging. They can be very rightly called as FOLLOWGGERs.

A few features are very similar to the FRESH BLOGGER with regards to the marketing style of his blog through emails, blog commenting and email signatures. The blog writing frequency and wit is however directly proportional to the GENUINE BLOGGER whom they are following.

4. CELEBRITY BLOGGER

Like Big B for Bid Adda(of the Reliance...Anil Ambani fame.....Amar Singh ji's accomplice.... do I need to write more????), Celina Jaitley for iTimes ............ list could go on and on. Do you really think celebrities have the time for blogging? You must be really naive to trust that. Those poor netizens who actually leave comments for the celebrity to read don't know that it will never be.

Big corporate houses rope in the big names to increase their popularity and hits on website by engaging some writer (better than me, of course) to write it for them. Google Ad Sense, Ad Words ....... all follow the celebrity. I mean does Celina Jaitely even know enough about Article 377 related to Gay Rights to blog about it getting advertised on the national newspapers?

Sadly, today everything is commercialised.... death, birth, accident .......

Jaago Grahak Jaago .......

5. DEAD BLOGGER

They can be further classified into two types:

1. Accidental creation of blog profile through gmail ID when visiting a blog link and commenting.

2. An unsuccessful effort to be a FOLLOWGER by creating an impressive blog profile by listing current occupation, B-School associations, glorifying self-description ......... but, no posts!!!!

And then, there could be a combination of one or two of above in a person like DEAD turning into FOLLOWGER into GENUINE. A GENUINE roped in to be a CELEBRITY ....... it can go on endlessly.

Presently, I percieve myself more close to the second category ....... how about you?