Dida

Dearest K~,

Your Dida passed away when you were yet to be born .... an eight month baby inside me!! I wish you could have interacted with her and experienced the love and affection she posessed. Let me write a few lines about her in the hope that these will be read by you in the years to come and make you proud of her blood which runs through you.

K~, Your Dida was married very young, at 20 years to your Dadu, then almost 30 years old, such age difference between the bride and groom being a very common phenomenon in those days. She was the daughter of Deputy Financial Advisor and Chief Accounts Officer, Indian Railways, a very high rank profile which came with great social status and money. However, the atmosphere in which she was nurtured always focussed on Education and Values; Emphasis was never laid on the temporary glory of plush bungalows, sprawling lawns, huge fleet of servants, government car etc. etc. Her Baba, that is my Dadu, was known to be a stern and a righteous man who almost lost his life once against corruption.

Dida was a tremendously talented and scholarly person. She completed High School at a mere age of 13 years with Distinction. She was a Indian Classical Vocalist and a Kathak Dancer too. She was the youngest daughter amongst her six siblings and had a very docile and complying disposition. By the time she turned 18 years, her Baba retired and her family shifted to Kolkata which was Naxal infested in those days. The young crowd were the most threatened ones because almost all Educational Institutions in Kolkata nurtured the rebel fire of Naxals. She had to be married off for the safety and security of her own future.

She was married to your Dadu, definitely a struggler but tremendously talented in terms of Academics and Music. He worked as a Junior Engineer at the BHEL, Bhopal. Dida displayed such adaptability and flexibility happily travelling IInd Class inspite having travelled Ist Class and Salons all through her life, cooking and cleaning for countless relatives and her In-Laws with no help regardless of the glove treatment she enjoyed since childhood. Her extraordinarily inspiring, affectionate and responsible behaviour compelled your Dadu to write a letter to her parents thanking them for the lovely daughter they had wedded him to.

Your Dadu fondly recalls their first wedding night when the only thing she uttered was a request to be allowed to complete her PhD which had suffered a setback owing to the political conditions of Kolkata. Dadu promised to fulfill her wish which he graciously followed a year later even at the cost of them staying separately and your Maashi shifted to grandparents house for over 3 years. And she completed her PhD. Botany, in a record breaking 3 years time given her intelligence and diligence. She wrote numerous international journals which were discussed at various prestigious forums.

I was born when she was 27 years, by then she had settled back with Dadu and Maashi was brought back to complete the family. She always stood for selfless, unconditional love and the contribution she made in her short life cannot be summarized in these few words. She truly inspired Dadu and helped him enrich his music and gave him the freedom to pusue his career and interests. She would slog endlessly managing her job and home with equal ease along with teaching us and making us do our homework. She would earn shoulder to shoulder with Dadu but it never showed in her attitude.

GOD had bestowed upon her the beautiful virtue of forgiveness and she had a lion heart. Her good deeds were independant of all human factors like love, relationship or vested interests. She would silently pray at Amarnath and Mansarover for all, even for persons with malicious and hurtful intentions.

When I left home at the age of eighteen to study out, she stared at me quietly from outside the train window and said, "Timpoo, I know you will never come back now! You are going for good, but never lose sight of the values instilled in you because after I die that will be your only guiding force." I was too excited and desperate to start a new life and did not quite try to understand the meaning of those words. But, today I do................

K~, when I recall those moments of decorating and annointing Dida's dead body ..... never knew it could be so painful to give the final bath to a person who had given me my first baths, I was trying to desperately hold on to those cold hands that rocked me, covering that bosom and womb that nurtured me and bowing myself for the very last time to those feet that blessed me .......... I was too numb and kept calling out in full blown shrieks ...."Maa, Maa, Maa, Maa......................................" but she would just not wake up this time..............even to those helpless cries of mine.

She rested in peace and looked awesome in that orange, Benarasi saree of hers which she had worn for her wedding. She looked beautiful!!! That was the last time I saw of her ...........

When she was being taken away for the last rites, there was a huge tearful crowd to bid her farewell .......... almost sixty of her students ... a girl student had fainted in fact ........ her colleagues ....... relatives.......servants......... and all had one thing to say ........

"She was such a great lady ..... Why did she have to go this soon?"

K~, it is because of her good deeds that we live in such happiness and prosperity .......

Let us Thank Her For That!!!!