K~ .... The Human body .... Unexplained

K~ is very curious. Very curious indeed about the human body! I wish to record some of the enlightening moments we have shared together.
As a parent, I have been deeply influenced by the thoughts of the great educator, A.S. Neill, Founder of Summerhill School. If I were to sum up his philosophy of raising kids, it would be as simple as "A child's education should not hamper her growth." He has touched upon all subjects related to child development ranging from Food, Hygiene, Habits, Books, Manners, Masturbation, Sex, GOD................ in a book titled "Summer hill", read by me over ten times to hardwire my parental faculties as per his thoughts. For the interested lot, here is a link - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A._S._Neill

Coming back to K~ and her mis/adventures, mis/interpretations about the human body:

K~ at one year

K~ developed a very irritating habit. She would want to sleep, caressing and cuddling my bosom all the time. I was bothered by it. In fact, she developed a fetish for it. She must have practiced the same on persons across all ages, gender and status starting with my maid, her Dadi, her own father and of course, Me. On certain occasions, it really embarrassed me to no limits, more so, in front of strangers. I tried to understand this strange behavior of hers. One night, I seemed to solve the puzzle. Actually, I had re-joined office when she was still feeding on me, after a year of her birth. She would not feel my presence the whole day. For her, bosom represented "Mother", which she would desperately try to find in all the persons around her. I stopped bothering myself on that. And trust me; the habit died its natural death when I quit work again after a year and a half - this time for good, to make sure I am always around for her.

K~ at three and half years

By now, K~ had learnt the names of all human body parts thanks to the books I got for her. Sadly, the book never named the private parts. K~ bestowed her own very creative names on them. The breasts were called aisey-aisey and genitals were named as shame-shame.

A sample conversation between K~ and her Dadi -

K~ :: "Dadi, tum kahan gayi thi?"

Dadi :: "Bathroom gayi thi."

K~ :: "Kya karney gayi thi?"

Dadi :: "Wahi jo tum karney jaati ho."

K~ :: "Shusshu?"

Dadi :: "Haan."

By now, I had sensed this K~ and Dadi conversation was not moving in the right direction. I tried to change the course by asking Amma, a fond name for my mother-in-law, "Amma, aloo jeerey se chonk lagaaon ki pyaaj se?" Alas! All my efforts failed and K~ managed to embarras me one more time. The balance talks were as follows:

K~ :: "Dadi, tumhaari shame-shame kaisi hai?"

Dadi :: "Waisey hi, jaisi tumhari hai."

K~ :: "Girls ki boys se alag hoti hai na?"

Dadi :: "Haan, Beta."

Silence.

Dadi :: "Chalo, ab park chalein?"

K~ :: "Yipeeee"

The End.

Amma never spoke about it. I appreciate her patience and maturity even to this day. We as adults need to understand that a child perceives even the private body parts as any other part like nose, eyes etc. It is upon us to answer all these questions honestly without making a fuss about it or joking/avoiding it away. More often than not, we are the ones to be blamed for perverting our child's thoughts by not giving straight answers and not satisfying their mind. The child strays elsewhere for answers and gets exploited in some cases.

K~ a few months later was explained two rules by me, which she happily complies with even today:

Rule 1: "Always ask any questions related to shame-shame and aisey-aisey to Mumma or Papa. I promise to answer them all."

Rule 2 : "You will be called a bad girl if you talk about it to everybody because such things are to be answered only by parents."

Since then, I have answered series of questions on the forbidden topics ranging from Boy's shame-shame, sanitary napkins which she calls girl diapers, boys wearing vests and girls wearing bra etc. etc. I can assure you, K~ has never spoken to any person other than me, even if that meant whispering her question into my ears in public. She never giggles- well, most of the times, like many other children do regarding underwear, potty or sussu (Not that I see anything wrong in innocent giggles; I remember doing the same as a kid, but such matters do not interest K~ anymore). She doesn't find it funny at all! I guess I have finally managed to satisfy her queries.

K~ at five years

One of my very close friends, Pee Jee had come to stay with me for an evening. She was 28 weeks pregnant and was carrying a reasonably huge belly. K~ kept staring at her belly bump for quite some time and then here is the conversation that happened between me and K~

Scene 1 - Sitting Room

K~ :: "Mumma, ek minute idhar aao."

Mumma :: "Aati hoon, zaraa Pee Jee auntie ke saath baat toh kar loon."

K~ :: "Abhi aao. Kucch poochna hai."

Mumma :: "Accha poocho."

Scene 2 - Bedroom

K~ :: "Mumma, why is Pee Jee aunty's tummy so big?"

Mumma~ :: "Because, there is a baby inside it."

K~ :: "Accha. But, when will it come out?"

Mumma :: "When it is as big as your new-born photo which was clicked in the hospital. The blue album, you remember?"

K~ :: "Yes.....ummmm....I was also inside your tummy?"

Mumma :: "Yes, you were."

K~ :: "How did I come out?"

Mumma :: "The doctor took you out of me in the hospital through an operation."

K~ :: "Hmmm.........Mumma, babies bahut cute hotey hain na? I know how to clean them and look after them."

Mumma :: "Yes, betu, you can. Ab main jaaoon? Pee Jee Aunty is waiting for me."

K~ :: "Mumma, I want to play with a baby too. I want a baby now."

Well, this time Mumma faints!